Big Days Ahead
I was a non-family member at a wedding this small a few weeks ago and honestly it was not awkward at all.
No wedding party, no speeches, we're going to walk each other down the isle instead of me being handed off. The whole reason I wanted a tiny wedding was because I can't handle large groups of people, but now I'm stressing over a smaller crowd. My destination wedding is only going to be around 25-30 people, and they are all immediate family and our two best friends. of today, my destination wedding will have less than 10 people - well more than 10 with our kids, anyway!
The small size of the wedding wasn't awkward at all, because it was basically just a group of people that have hung out together anyway. You can have a nice small guestbook that everyone can sign, have your wedding cake, have someone do a nice toast, take some pictures. I had a tiny wedding! Plus your ceremony will make it feel much like a wedding. My friend's brother had a tiny wedding in the Caribbean. We never even entertained the idea of a big wedding. Ahhh your tiny wedding looked so wonderful!
We're really looking forward to the days preceding the wedding too, we get to do other exciting vacation activities with our nearest and dearest as well as getting married! Small wedding club! And in order to feel like we had a bit of a "party" we invited friends out to karaoke that night.
Things to Remember
- Be married before your wedding.
- Live with vigger.
- Stay together through the whole reception and let your guests see some intimacy.
- Doesn't matter; got married.
- Allow for a LOT of wiggle-room and extra time in your wedding-day schedule. Everything will take longer than you think.
- Pull your husband (!!!!) Aside throughout the day and take a second and regroup. Stop, breathe, look around, realize that all these people are celebrating you and your husband and that you're married :)
- Bouquet at the belly button. You can't see my dress in the pictures where I hold the bouquet.
- Don't let family who you see often hog you the whole time.
- So I just got back from my good friends' wedding. The day before, we did a complete trial run of the hair and makeup and had everyone put on their clothes to make sure there wouldn't be any last minute "oh no this doesn't fit what do we do"s. It made things so much easier and flowing for the big day it was incredible!
- Hand over your cell to MOH or trusted friend so they can handle all guest & vendor enquiries day of. Don't bog yourself down with the small details- Aunt Linda can figure out where to park. Allow yourself to be pampered and fussed over, and let everything else roll off your back. Plunge your face in a bowl of ice water to get rid of puffiness before makeup application.
- Invisible handcuffs! No, I'm not talking about kinky wedding night toys, I'm talking about spending time with your husband at your wedding. I read an adorable article about pretending you have invisible handcuffs to keep you together. Yes, you'll get pulled apart, but remember the handcuffs and find your way back to your boo.
- I got married in November so things are fresh in my mind. Number one piece of advice is get a handkerchief and keep it in your pocket the day of. You can wipe your brides tears and yours and will look super prepared. (added in comment) Second, make a memory the day of with each of your parents. I did a shot and ten minutes alone with my father talking about marriage. I know it meant the world to him. So do something personal for each of them.
- Reoccurring themes: EAT - drink water - Don’t have too much champagne while you get ready - EAT AGAIN - tell your photographer if you have specific pictures you want - take time to "soak it in" - let the little things go.
- I wish I'd have looked at the audience more, both as i walked down and during the ceremony, but i couldn't take my eyes off my husband!
- See where you can make some adjustments to your budget. In many cases when it comes to paper porducts you can DIY and save. There are a lot of resources out there that help walk you through the process and you results will be in many cases much better.
- I would have come up with a different schedule for photos. I feel like my whole wedding day was devoted to going to different locations and taking photos, and while they came out amazing I would have liked to spend more time just being chill with my mom and my bridesmaids before the wedding.
- I would have spent the little bit of extra money to have people from the venue help with set up and tear down instead of counting on friends and family to do it.
- Make the wedding night romance happen before hand. Don't get caught up in the cliche. Do it after the ehearsal dinner or whenever, after the wedding you will be too tired.
- Make sure ALL your ladies are dressed and ready to go well ahead of you. My mom and MIL took a long lunch and my MOH had run back to her hotel room for something, leaving us less than 10 minutes for me to get zipped up and buttoned before it was time to go. We had troubles figuring out the last loop. So stressful.
It's Over In A Flash
Even trying to not have a "blur" of a wedding day by following the above, it was still a blur. IMO I don't think there is much you can do to slow the wedding day down. And the start of some of the best days of your life :D My advice: don't work on your wedding day if at possible.
I think my wedding went by in a blur because I didn't know what to expect and then it was gone. It was because they day was about getting married and starting a life with my husband not about the wedding. My sisters wedding day ended up getting married not in the most perfect way. However, having a videographer helped us both to be able to see our wedding day. "My wedding day went by so fast."
Iknow my family is going to be a bear about getting every combination of pictures possible and I'm dreading it. Is there any way to prevent your wedding day from rushing by? But I'm not sure yet because I don't want to take away from the "first look" down the aisle.
On the day of she checked them off as we got every single one :) My husband's family was like this and I predicted it. I'm glad to hear from someone who didn't feel like their day rushed by! It was fun to be able to sit back with a glass of wine and see what really happened that day.
these tips are more about relaxing to enjoy the wedding day. It didn't ruin the moment of him seeing me come down the aisle - when we locked eyes I really thought that time stopped.
Are you saying that when people say "my wedding passed in a blur" it's because they were stressed with making things go perfectly? :) Everyone in the wedding party asked how I was so calm and relaxed and chill. It was also nice because it was a destination wedding so those who couldn't be there can still see it now. Those sound like good tips for having a fun day but I'm not following how the list helps specifically with keeping the day from flying by.
Bigger Isn't Always Better
Focus on a few things, enjoy those things, and figure out a way to incorporate them into mingling with guests. "The whole day is a blur, I barely remember it." I feel like we already have a day of coordinator , and 2 photographers, and 2 bartenders and catering. If you kind of mentally prepare, like a fire drill, you're calm and you can say okay I know what to do. My husband was dead-set against it and now our 5 minute wedding trailer is his favorite thing ever - he cried the first time he watched it.
But what you can do is pick 4-5 things you really want to notice and pay attention to. So all in all, I felt like I gained more moments as opposed to losing any. I hope I can be totally relaxed and chill on my day too! I truly don't know. My photographer was a friend's coworker's sister who had only done 6 weddings before, but did them beautifully. He stood outside with his back facing away from the door, I came out, he turned around - instant crying for both of us.
We were outside at sunset but it made for smoother sailing afterwards and we got to the reception much more quickly!
My tips were more about relaxing so you can ENJOY the day.
Mimosas in the morning we amazing A bubble bath with candles started by day off right. And then, on the day of, have pushy person be your photo point person. I think it's just a busy day and goes by quickly no matter what. I honestly have only watched the full video once , but I pull up the trailer all the time. I just am looking at all this planning and money and wondering if it's really worth it if I'm not even going to remember the day, you know? Like I'm happy to put in the effort if it'll pay off, but if it's all over in a flash.
BC I've been forced to watch other people's wedding videos and I'll be honest, snore. I never would have remembered my ceremony if it hadn't been captured on video, and it's really fun to relive those moments. You'll miss a lot of it just because there's so much going on, but you shouldn't miss everything.
There's so much going on that they won't have time to be on top of you the whole time anyway.
We love our wedding photos, but the video is so much more emotional for us. For example, I had a fantastic cake made by a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend; I literally found her by polling my facebook friends for bakers. Maybe writing them all down will naturally help her/him realize how daunting that's going to be. I don't want the ugly crying happening LOL! Go stand at the bar and chat up some people there while enjoying your first signature cocktail. I have been really feeling like a videographer was unnecessary but a lot of posts have been saying how much they enjoyed it!
Also, maybe part of the planning could be solidifying timelines and planning for what to do during down time. Everyone is there to see you, so it can get a little overwhelming. His favorite pic of the wedding was from that. We put family wedding photographs on a mantle and people still comment on how great it was - it cost very little but had a big impact. 2 videographers seems like the freaking paparazzi when I just want to see my family and friends.
Because It's Your Wedding
The Honeymoon Can Be When You Want
There's no hard and fast rule that a honeymoon needs to be immediately after the wedding or whatever.
I started a new job, and don't have any vacations time, so they're being generous giving 3 days before the wedding and 2 days after. You are still in wedding mode but without stress of thinking about what needs to get done when you get back. We had a Friday wedding and left for the honeymoon on Monday. We have 8 days in between the wedding and leaving for the honeymoon.
We just moved to a new city, so we actually have to travel back to my hometown to get married. Since she is starting her new job just a few weeks before the wedding, she won't have earned enough PTO for a proper honeymoon. We had a pretty laid back wedding so it not like I was super anxious. I just meant that I wouldn't want to go back to work for one week before my honeymoon, if I could avoid it.
The following weekend is the long weekend, so we're heading away to a cabin for Friday evening through Monday. We are having a Saturday wedding and leaving on Monday. I haven't been very stressed, so I think it would be a different story if I had a ton of stress the week leading up to the wedding day.
I wouldn't want to go back to work - if I were you I would leave Monday!
Making It Kids Free
My partner and I don't have kids and we have already laid the groundwork for a kid-free wedding . I thought babies didn't have all the shots they needed to be out in public until they were 2-3 months old?
If they can't make arrangements for their kids, then I won't be seeing them on my wedding day. We'll have our 5 month old at our wedding but will ask grandparents to care take so we can enjoy the day. I have filmed about 70 weddings and if babies are present, they will cry or fuss during the ceremony. Not the parents' fault- babies are babies.
With a 4-week-old baby, I would be looking for an excuse not to go to someone's wedding. In my opinion, that would be the only scenario in which I'd want kids at my wedding. I also don't spend any time around kids in general so I literally have no idea how they would be. Im not really into babies or kids either and my mum totally doesn't understand - she is the complete opposite.
That way you come off as concerned about baby's comfort and safety as opposed to "keep your child away from me and my wedding." But we're not blanket inviting children, our choice which kids come and other parents will just have to lump it. I feel like this misses the point that OP does not want the baby at her wedding. I don't understand why someone wants to go to a stranger's wedding. I don't care that you went to their kids' weddings but I think it's weird to go to a stranger's wedding because you know someone related to them. Not to sound horrible or anything, but I think I would be really annoyed if a baby started crying during the ceremony. Some of the kids I wan there for their own sake, some it's ok if they come so that I can see the parents.
Explain that you are concerned with babies cries during your ceremony and any other concerns you have. During the ceremony, dad waited inside with the baby while mom went out to see the ceremony. The parents will have to decide how they want to handle it, you don't have to invite the baby. We're sorry if this means you can't make it, but babies fall under the 21 guideline." I kind of felt like it was a shitty thing to do, but ultimately it was my wedding and people seemed to respect that a 4 week old babies tend to be pretty quiet. I will gladly help people find baby sitters but they aren't allowed at my wedding.
I guess I can find out through the grapevine what they're thinking of doing and then start the conversation based on that. So one of my cousins wife is pregnant and due 4 weeks before my wedding. Anyone who makes you feel bad about not having babies or children there is acting like a selfish asshole who isn't taking into account that it's your wedding.
I don't even like kids but I caved and it was stupid of me. No kids or babies need to be running around my reception or ceremony.
Exchanging Wedding Gifts
have already decided on a gift that is just for her and I'm really pleased with my idea. I know I would certainly feel put off if someone gave me thank you cards as a gift. Maybe it's a regional thing, but a gift of thank you cards would actually be kind of offensive where I'm from.
After your wedding the bride and groom write thank you cards to everyone that gave you a gift. For me, I spent more time choosing the thank you cards than I did the actual wedding invites, so this seems like a strange gift to me. If this is something inappropriate to give or recurve at your wedding, be smart and don't gift it. I'd like to do something nice for my other friend too and this is where I am stuck and would really appreciate your ideas. Are you saying someone gave you thank you cards as a gift? If they're religious people maybe get them a gift like such in accordance to their faith?
I guess literally seeing it set in stone was really nice and I felt really special. I'm very grateful for any of your ideas, thank you. I think she will really enjoy getting done-up and it will take the pressure off me on the day. It was thoughtful because it was something we needed after our wedding to thank our family and friends. This does not give me a lot of time to plan or save for an extra special wedding gift and I do want it to be special because I'm aware that they've had to make some sacrifices to get it organized so quickly.
It was a great gift.